We experience disappointment as a result of the gap, or dissonance, between the reward we anticipated and the reality in which it didn’t occur.

It may stem from an unmet preference (e.g., "I wanted to go for a run today but couldn’t make the time"), a challenge to our ego (e.g., "I thought I was right but received criticism from a colleague I care about"), or the loss of something we value (e.g., "I thought I could trust my friend but found out they lied to me").

Based on a 1998 experiment, Zeelenberg et al. found that, compared to regret, disappointment is more likely to make us feel powerless and inclined to disengage and move on without holding on to the negative emotion. According to this interpretation, regret is empowering and future-focused because it pushes us to understand what went wrong and how to adjust our behavior to achieve a better outcome next time.

However, they also found that we tend to hold on to feelings of regret longer, whereas we are more likely to let go of disappointment to move forward. In that sense, people who overcome disappointment may be more focused on the future than those who struggle with prolonged regret.